Mandy was sitting alone under a vast New Mexico sky, stars scattered like diamonds across the darkness, when she realized something profound had shifted. Just months after coming out as a queer woman, she’d driven solo from her conservative home state of Utah to Santa Fe — a journey that required careful planning, location sharing with friends and strategic stops only at crowded, well-connected gas stations. (Note: Our travel subjects have opted to use first names only in this story to help ensure their safety.)
“Solo travel allows me to slow down and see the beauty of new places and learn amazing new things,” she reflects. “It also reminded me that I am a learner, an investigator and someone who enjoys diving deep into new and old things.”
For LGBTQ+ travelers, solo adventures require more preparation than the average vacation. But a growing number of queer people are discovering that the extra planning pays off in unexpected ways — from challenging preconceived notions about hostile territories to experiencing profound personal growth in the freedom of traveling entirely on their own terms.
Ruby, a transgender woman from Metro Detroit, crosses the U.S.-Canada border weekly to visit her girlfriend and has developed what she calls a “mental checklist” for interactions with authorities.
“Keep your answers as brief as possible. Wait for them to tell you to do something before you do it,” Ruby advises. She’s also become an expert at vetting destinations through local Reddit communities. “A lot of cities and areas have subreddit, so Reddit is a big source of information for me.”
The research pays off. Ruby has discovered welcoming pockets in unexpected places, including areas where tourism creates a buffer of tolerance even in otherwise conservative regions. “Where you see tourism, people tend to be — even if not more accepting in their own minds — less likely to say something or do something because they’re used to just working with so many different people,” she observes.
Lucas Abromowitz, an independent agent with Once Upon a Trip agency based in Marquette, has made it his mission to help LGBTQ+ travelers discover Michigan’s surprising diversity of welcoming destinations. Beyond well-known queer havens like Saugatuck, he champions the Upper Peninsula as an ideal solo destination.
“If you’re looking for small-town charm, lake life and access to the outdoors, then put our city on your list,” Abromowitz says about Marquette. “With Northern Michigan University’s presence, we also have the infusion of youthful energy.” He particularly recommends Cartier Mansion and Ludington House B&B in Ludington, whose owners are “incredible allies of the LGBTQ+ community” and “promote a safe and welcoming environment.”
For Mandy’s April road trip to Santa Fe, the planning became intensely detailed. She researched sunrise and sunset times for every stop, avoided driving in darkness and implemented location sharing with a trusted friend.
“It was only my most recent solo road trip in April where I felt more of a need to create a safety plan to travel,” Mandy explains. “Which is very telling.”
Ruby has learned to read visual cues that signal safety or potential hostility. “If there’s a lot of MAGA-forward signage and whatnot, that makes me kind of want to put the pedal to the metal a little bit faster,” she explains. These political indicators have become part of her decision-making process when choosing where to stop.
When it comes to accommodations, Ruby consistently chooses established hotels over Airbnbs when venturing beyond familiar territory. “I’ve always felt the safest in hotels right because there’s proper security,” she explains. She also avoids first-floor rooms whenever possible.
Perhaps the most surprising discovery for solo queer travelers is how often their fears prove unfounded. Ruby’s extensive travels have taught her valuable lessons about the gap between perception and reality.
“You get out and you kind of talk to people and they’re not as fanatical as you might think based on your media portrayal in a lot of different areas,” she reflects. “I’m a big believer in treating people how you want to be treated. So I try to be — unless somebody gives me a reason to not be — polite and kind towards them. That’s what I try to lean in with. And I feel like I usually get that back.”
She’s discovered “pockets of good” in unexpected places. “It’s kind of helped me see that there are pockets of good in places you might think are just all bad.”
This doesn’t mean dropping all caution. Ruby describes becoming more vigilant when her instincts signal potential problems. “If it’s an area where I’m not fully comfortable in or something feels off, you need to trust the gut feeling that something doesn’t feel right.”
For many queer solo travelers, the journey becomes as much about internal discovery as external exploration. Mandy’s Santa Fe adventure proved particularly meaningful as her first major trip after coming out.
“For me, coming out as a queer woman happened just before this trip. And I am so grateful that Santa Fe was my first stop,” she says. The city’s progressive politics created an ideal environment for her first solo queer adventure. Solo travel experiences reveal aspects of herself that had been buried. “When I travel solo I read more, journal more and give myself time to enjoy the little things that I miss in my day to day at home,” Mandy explains.
Ruby describes a similar transformation through travel. Her solo adventures have helped her discover those “pockets of good” that challenge assumptions about different communities. “It’s OK to be hesitant and anxious, but try not to let the anxiety prevent you from experiencing the world and people.”
For nervous first-time solo travelers, both Ruby and Abromowitz recommend starting close to home. Ruby suggests the greater Metro Detroit area, including Ann Arbor, Ferndale, Royal Oak and Dearborn, as a safe testing ground. “I’ve had a lot of just great fun experiences,” she says of the region’s inclusive atmosphere.
Abramowitz believes solo adventures are absolutely achievable for LGBTQ+ people anywhere in Michigan. “You don’t need a buddy, partner or group to explore Michigan and have fun. Day trips, overnighters and long vacations all bring something rewarding for a solo traveler and let you travel the way just you want to.”
Successful solo queer travel often involves connecting with local LGBTQ+ communities. Mandy recommends reaching out to queer groups or businesses in destination cities and signing up for LGBTQ-focused events early in the trip.
“If you don’t have a pal in the city you are interested in visiting, I would suggest doing your research on more accommodating areas, queer groups or businesses you could reach out to and possibly signing up for a class or attending an event that is queer focused early in your travel. You can meet some amazing humans who would love to guide you through your trip.”
For solo queer travelers like Mandy and Ruby, the journey often becomes more than just a vacation; it becomes a homecoming to yourself. Every mile driven alone, every conversation with a stranger who treats you with kindness, every sunset watched from your own chosen spot adds up to something profound: the realization that the world, despite its challenges, still holds space for your authentic self. And sometimes, that’s the most important destination of all.
Want to see what was left on the cutting room floor? Check out an expanded version of this story on Pride Source: Substack Edition to hear more from Mandy and Ruby.
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